My Big Boy, today you are in the best place in the world, but it is hurting terribly hard not having you here anymore. God calls all the best people to his heaven, and you are one of his privileged ones — that is why you have been called too early.
You leave here to me, your mother, and your brothers and sister an enormous void space. Although you filled all our days with your love, with your charming smile, with your madness. When you were born your first cry broke my heart of joy, making me cry like a child — like I'm doing now. Unfortunately, now they are tears of desperation, of loneliness.
You gave me a lot. You gave me all your love. I wish I could give you back all the love you gave me. I wasn't a good father — father is a very difficult job — but I loved you since you were born with all of myself. You are my first son. Me and your mother were so happy when we had you.
I remember coming to England when you were a little child, and you wanted me to sing you over and over a goodnight song to make you fall asleep. But in the end, guess who was sleeping? I remember once when you came to Italy with your mother — we were walking side by side and you wanted us to hold hands together.
Life is very difficult. Sometimes it makes us take other ways. Looking back, I miss every single minute of your years that I could not spend with you. I was doing a difficult job, always away from the family — but you were always very proud of me, and of my job. Your mother did an enormous job with you. What you have reached is thanks to her, who had to fill also the father side.
When you decided to come to live in Italy, for me it was the best news I could have. I opened my house to you, my arms — as I was thinking it was now time for us to get back all the years we hadn't spent together. But life was again really cruel with us.
I should never have let you go to Ukraine — but you had your reasons. Your soul was at the service of weak people in Ukraine, because your heart and your soul are noble and generous. You gave your young years at their service. To defend the weak. To defend a land that is not yours, from an invader that has no heart. You fought with dignity, with bravery, until your last days, when you lost your life — but you won your heaven, where God and your grandfather will hug you.
Your family will always think of you there, where you wanted to be — on the front line, where real life is, where there's no space for mistakes, where only the brave can be, and only who has real life values.
I lost my father when I was only nine months old, but I always felt him next to me any day of my life. And now you will guide me and give me the power to go ahead for the rest of my days, close to me. You have been and will always be present in my heart and in my life.
Please always look after also your brothers and your sister, from there. Life is too short. We should not waste any single day in nonsense fights. We should love each other every day like it's the first day. We should never miss a chance to kiss each other, hug each other, because tomorrow could be the last. And as you know, I will never forgive myself for not giving you enough kisses or hugs, and I hope one day you will forgive me.
There's no cure enough to heal my pain of your loss now. The only thing that cheers me up is what you did for others, putting your life at risk for other people, and this is telling a lot about how your heart was. And I'm the most proud man to have had such a son.
There are not enough words to describe to others how you were. You died with dignity, and I hope one day I can die with dignity like you did.